«On the first day of the war I had panic, just shock. Just like in 2014, it felt like the sky had fallen to the ground.
2014 was the year we made the decision to leave Russia, and it's all my husband’s credit - I was very reluctant to part with my Saint Petersburg life.
Back then in 2014 I was very scared, and it seemed that a great war was about to start right then. That everyone was about to understand everything! But no one understood anything, except for a couple of people.
It seems to me that the threshold for indifference in Russia is higher than elsewhere. A learned survival strategy - I see nothing, I hear nothing. Even soldier mothers now, unlike in the Chechen war, don't look for their children.
I am afraid that my children will not see their grandmothers. I am afraid that I can no longer be proud of anything good that was in Russia, no longer have the right.
Is there a chance to look at things in a more complex way now? I don't think so. A mere fact that there are also good people in Russia won't change anything anymore».