alexandeR

There were days when I didn't know what to do. But since February 24, there have been no such days, not a single one. Since February 24, I don't have much time at all, because every day I have to spend at least an hour learning about this war, thinking about it - and doing some of the things I know how to do.

Eight years ago I made a film about the terrorist attack in Beslan, and one of its characters said: "I thought that after such a monstrous tragedy the world would change forever. People will understand that life can't go on like before. But nothing has changed". I remember these words every day. War is not only blood and death, but millions of private steps towards a better world that will never be taken again. The people who could have made the world a better place are hiding. Behind crooked propaganda constructs. Or averting their eyes. Or assuring themselves that nothing has happened and nothing has changed (even though they know all the same things I do).

I realise that this is now for the rest of my life. I know that this war is now inside me - and every day I will puzzle over what I should do exactly now. And there will always be those around for whom, in the same place, at the same time, there is no war.

I can choose where I am and where my heart is, and I have chosen. That choice is always there. Except for the second when a cluster munition first appears in the sky.