«I am Russian, all the same. Changing countries hasn’t changed it. Every day I go through a cycle of horror at the deaths of people in Ukraine, to fear for my relatives in Russia, flitting between these two fires.
I try to distract myself with work - I am engaged in interiors - and then I start to think about interiors of Ukrainians which they must have invested so much in and now nothing remained of their houses. Or vice versa, the houses are intact, but people will not go back there. These thoughts constantly give me a headache.
Work and safety seem like a privilege, I start scrolling through the news, there should be some kind of fundraising - children, food, medicine, I take part, with much more modest amounts than in the beginning, because money has stupidly run out. But none of that helps.
I can't get through my
pain while rockets are fired at maternity hospitals, and barbed wire grows around the last free Russians.
I put this pain off for later, but maybe that's not how it works».