«It always seems that every problem has a solution, it just has to be found. I want to feel the same way about this war. It seems that it takes just a little more thought and there is the right position, the right words and the right actions that will help and reassure everyone. Maybe the horror of the war is precisely that there is no solution. There are only these questions I have to constantly ask myself:
How can I live with the fact that I belong to an aggressor country? How can I help in any way, when it seems that whatever I do is always not enough? How do I stand up to this evil even a little?
I haven't experienced other wars but it feels like the internet makes war more personal and the war takes place not only on the battlefield but also on social media and in chat rooms. News of the actions of "my" country and messages of officials with a fierce cynicism aligned to induce fear, anger and despair reach their goal and every time, every hour, an effort must be made to cope. We are lucky not to engage in physical warfare, but there is no hiding from the propaganda war.
I feel immense gratitude towards Ukrainians who find the strength to separate the aggressor Russia from the Russians. And of course, I understand the position of those Ukrainians who no longer want to continue communicating with Russians.
Nowadays, I often call and communicate with strangers from Russia. What warmth I feel when I see these very kind, intelligent, good people and how painful it is to see what other people who run the Russian state are doing to them now.
It would probably be good to say something positive and inspiring in the end, but I don't see anything to calm down right now. It cannot be ruled out that it will get worse. We are all frazzled and helpless right now. Maybe this will at least make us a little more human».